Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The Big Transistion

Yes it's finally here our son is graduating from Grade 12 next week. We are trying to figure out how life will work as he turns from a teen under our responsibility to an adult this summer.

I am not sure how you all have dealt with this issue - but what happens when his room isn't clean? Does he still do chores? How about coming and going at the wee hours of the night?

My mind is scrambling to figure out how I am going to adjust to this new lifestyle he'll be having in just a short time.

He's undecided yet about what his plans are for after high school. He's a bright kid who never liked school and therefore never applied himself. Last year I received a letter in the mail from his school and I almost fainted when I opened it to find out that he had made the honor roll! Now that was a proud day for this Momma Bear!

You see when he was in Grade 10, we did a little bribery to get him to focus on doing his assignments and studying - it obviously worked! The problem was that this year he got himself a job and the bribery that we used previously was retired.

I had hoped and prayed that he'd continue on this road of studying hard and getting good grades. I really wanted to see him attend university this fall, instead it looks like he's going to try to get into mechanics. I am fine with him being a mechanic, I just think that he is wasting some of those 'smarts' God has blessed him with.

So now me and the DH have to sit back and watch our DS for the next few months to see if he'll take his own imitative and get his life on track or if he'll free fall. He's got no more than two months before we step in an give him a friendly boot in the rear to get him on track.

I know we're not the only ones who have had to deal with this transition period. Do you have any advice? I'd love to hear from others about what worked and didn't work for you.

Have you Shared a Square yet? I've sent 10 and I've started my next batch!!


  1. Im glad you liked the grub...now, on to your son. You have to remember, its still your house. YOU make the rules no matter how old he is. Has he considered the military?? My oldest son went in a month after graduation last year.I bought him luggage for a graduation present..lol..He is a completely different person and fully dependent on himself. He has been to Spain, Greece, Italy, and Africa. I know this is a tough time to be in the military but my son got into the Navy. You can chose the career you want and they pay for college. Its just a thought but the longer he sits around, the more lazy he will become. If he wants to learn a trade, dont let him wait until after summer. Get him going now. You've done your job, its time for him to become a responsible adult:) Just my thoughts on the matter. My youngest will be a Junior next year...we are already discussing trade school. Its never to early to start planning.

  2. I popped over to take a look at your squares....I'm seeing if mine are looking right! lol I've crocheted scarves and afghans before but never a granny square! But I'm learning! ;)

    As for your son, I have had two graduate HS, it's traumatic isn't it? lol We set rules, they will attend college full time or they will attend part time and also work. But as long as they live under our roof, they will respect our rules. Sure they get a little more give then they did when they were in HS, but they do still call if they are going to be late, out of respect. As for their rooms, that's an neverending battle....but I have noticed that the older they get they want it cleaner...so there is hope!! LOL

    Congrats to your son!!

  3. Congrats to your son on his graduation. My daughter graduated last year. She decided she wanted to go to College and I didn't want her driving the highways for an hour so we moved her into the City. Rules were as long as she was in school, mom and dad would pay. But she decided not to go back to school this year, so she found a good paying job and is paying her own way now. If she ever does move back home there certainly would be a few rules. I don't need the dog barking at 3:00am in the morning for instance.

  4. I don't have much of a perspective on this issue, as my daughter just graduated Kindergarten. The fact that she has freaks me out. I can't imagine how you feel now that your son has finished school.

    Maybe a year off from academics is just what he needs. He'll find out just what real life is all about and may want to go on to college after all.

    Good luck with the transition.

  5. Tea,
    It was not an easy summer last year with our oldest just graduating and not following our rules. (like treating the rest of us with respect) After one such battle, I told him he could leave the house and I truly meant it. He wrote a letter and apologized and after a year at school, he is happy to be home and realizes how fortunate he is.

    If he is going to be working, he should be some room and board. Sounds harsh, but he is an adult and needs to know that living at home is a privilege, not a right. Now if you want to save that money and use it for a gift for him for later, that's cool, but think of your utility bills...Good luck!

  6. I'm watching you to learn. Teach me well, dear Teamouse! However, I will add, that treating him as an equal, as someone you respect, will set the tone that you demand big, good things from him.

  7. Don't despair about your son. After my divorce, my boys stayed with Dad (I didn't want them to have to leave the home where they grew up and change schools). Dad, however, didn't supervise well. He allowed my youngest to drop out of school!! With only two credits to go! But, he got his GED a year later, and is in art school in California. Your son will find his path (and you can't force it on him!). With my oldest stepson, we got to a point of telling him that he was either a "student" or a "tenant" and we made him pay rent. We also didn't allow him to just run wild. Your rules still apply! You'll get through this. I'll be interested to hear the continuing saga!