Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Diary of a Pessimistic Dieter - A work of Fiction

November 25

Dear Diary,

I have been watching all the diet ads on t.v. And I am thinking I can easily drop 25 lbs.by New Year's. My friend recommended a great program the cost is quite steep at $500 a month but if I can lose the weight it must be worth it. I will stop off after work and see about signing up. I am so excited.

Well I went there after work and they weighed me – yowch! I know losing 25 lbs by New Year's was my original goal, but I have much more to lose and I'm not sure if this program will be feasible. I'd hate to spend that kind of money and not succeed :(!

November 29:

Dear Diary,

I checked into that program and it seemed quite strict. I tried to rationalize the cost, but with that kind of money we could go on a holiday when the weight is off. I'd love to go somewhere tropical. I've decided to an alternate program that my mother-in-law gave to me. I just have to eat different foods in a different order. I like the price, more money for shopping.

December 1:

Dear Diary,

I dug my scale out from under the bead and dusted it off – achoo! Wow that is a good reminder that I really need to vacuum under there more regularly. Well I weighed myself and there is no change yet. I felt quite upset, unfortunately the Christmas chocolate gifts were nearby and I indulged.

December 5:

Dear Diary,

Our daughter had her Christmas pageant tonight. I had been asked to bring a dozen cookies. I couldn't make just a dozen so I have a few extra for the kids. They had to be 'nut free' so I made shortbread, mmmmmmmm I do so love shortbread, will power I need you.

December 9:

Dear Diary,

Darn it if I didn't have some of those shortbread after all. I don't know how I'll get 25 lbs off in time. . I've decided to try to get 15 off instead. I am getting a little tired of bacon, there is only so much you can do with it. I am craving vegetables and fruit.

December 14:

Dear Diary,

I haven't been writing in the last few days. I really had nothing good to report. I couldn't take the diet anymore and I've just tried to keep snacks to a minimum and eat my regular meals. My friend told me that she is walking each day at 5:00 AM, for 5km, that's just CRAZY!!! I'll try to fit walks into my day when it's possible, but life is crazy busy now - so much baking, so many parties - oy!

December 16:

Dear Diary,

I've found myself baking more again – I just wanted a couple more things to have for when company comes over during Christmas. Did you know that white chocolate macadamia nut cookies are to die for? Well I had to try them, I can't serve something to company that might be terrible. Ok – you got me I tried them a few times, but they were teensy. I saw the cutest dress ever, I'm hoping I can fit into it in time. I'm not taking any chances though - I'll shop for my dress right before New Year's!

December 18:

Dear Diary,

I decided to get the scale out again, it's a week until Christmas and I am not feeling like I've lost any weight. I was right the scale shows me up by 1 lb. I guess those cookies were more than I thought. I drowned my sorrows in a pint of ice cream and some good chocolate! :(

December 20:

Dear Diary,

We had our office party yesterday and I had a hard time. There was so much good food. I tried to take just small bits of each. I had a smaller dinner when I got home and managed to go for a 30 minute walk. I was excited to see all the decorated houses.

December 23:

Dear Diary,

Well I did get on the scale and it wasn't good – I managed to lose 1 lb. I am not sure if I really did or not, I weighed myself a few times and I chose the lowest reading. I'm feeling so bummed out about it. What on earth was I thinking!!!!

December 26:

Dear Diary,

Well that's it I jumped right off the band wagon. I haven't seen any major progress even though I've had some walks and have been trying to watch what I eat. I've had a few cookies here and there but I have really been good – losing 2.5 lbs. Is such a slap in the face.

December 30:

Dear Diary,

Well there is no way I will make my goal – that's pretty obvious. I'm throwing my hands in the air and going out for a fabulous lunch – there is no point in trying now.

December 31:

Dear Diary,

Well here it is New Year's Eve and I only managed to lose 2.5 lbs all month. I don't know why I bothered trying to lose weight during Christmas it's the worst time ever. Thankfully I didn't get a new dress, I've got one tucked in the back of the closet that should do. “Don't get rid of the fat clothes' that's my motto. I'm off to the store to get some good undergarments, thank God for Spandex!!!! Bring on the New Year's Buffet and Champagne!!

3 comments:

  1. Not sure which one I would want for a friend??? The optimistic dieter or pessimistic dieter?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey - no fair, you've been spying on me. Fiction schmiction.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well, after reading both, I would say I am more closely related to the pessimistic dieter. This year has been the worst yet.

    ReplyDelete